axeslade: (utena/anthy)
First: Why do I not have the Jack/Ianto snog icon on this account? BAH.

Second: Pondering auction fic...and realising another thing I have in common with Jack in many ways--wanting to protect the people I love from me, from having to love me and deal with my messed up self. Yeah, I'm not immortal. But it's hard to deny that even before the immortality Jack was pretty fucked up.

But Jack, and myself...well. We want to protect people from ourselves--but that doesn't stop us wanting them. I've read many posts on how Jack's great fault and great salvation is his love. And, yeah, I can totally get that.

I've said many times how I wouldn't care nearly as much if I get gay/trans bashed were I not now with Girl. How, yes, I do try to chase her away sometimes for her own good (and I have to stop doing that. I have to trust that she has informed consent, etc. MAH ISSUES!)

And, well, again...even if she doesn't look as good in a suit (though she looks damn good in red)...Girl really is my Ianto sometimes. From The Sin Eaters

Years of trying and trying and sometimes succeeding....being himself. Being hated, being lonely. No one good enough, not able to mend, not able to stop the pain.
"Jack!"
Ianto was holding his hand. He kissed him. "You okay?"
"Yeah. C'mere, you." He gave Ianto a massive hug. He needed him. Sometimes more than he'd like to admit.


We've had our moments like that, and I am so grateful for them.
axeslade: (juno cheese)
-Girl betting me one of her male sims will get knocked up by aliens, losing said bet and owing me a three-pack of Ferrero Rochers---even though my only answer to her challenge was to laugh.
-Getting the check from Girl for Christmas-flight tickets, and finding said check in a letter that, along with a few other phrases, had the phrase 'I love you' all down the page.
-Girl snarling at people who call me [birth name]--even though I never, ever asked her to call me [chosen name].
-Rereading the letter Girl sent me admitting her crush and realising once more that sometimes life doesn't suck squirrel balls.
-...basically, Girl.
axeslade: (sealbomb)
Paraphrased chunk of the five hour chat I had with Girl today:

Me: [after much blather over her birthday present for this year and plans for winter holidays] I have no idea what I'm getting you for Christmas. I already have next year's birthday present, but no clue about Christmas.

Her: [since she's turning 21 next year] It better not be alcohol.

Me: *audible eyeroll*

Her: ???

Me: Nuh-uh. All I'm saying is, once again, hail eBay

Her: *grumbles a bit* It better be Ewan McGregor covered in glitter

Me: *laughing* I think his wife would object to him selling himself on eBay

Her: He doesn't have to stay! Just strip, dance around, go back.

Me: I repeat. Besides, how would *I* win Ewan McGregor? Can you imagine the bidding war?

Her: You never know!

...and thus ends this glimpse into my relationship. And I think that took place within the first hour of this five hour conversation. I don't know who should be screaming 'save me!', me or her.

Unrelated, I really don't use photobomb!seal often enough.

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axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

January 2011

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