Not an inch more room to self destruct
Oct. 13th, 2009 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeFuck it, I really need to see about getting into therapy again. Finding someone I can trust, tho, that might be a problem.
And I need to not be 1200 miles away from my only real means of support.
And I also need a much less delicate psyche. But I don't think that'll happen until at least one of the other two changes.
Sigh. This shit. It never fucking stops. And I really should see it coming by now, but I never do.
And some of it shouldn't affect me in the first place. I mean, really, self.
But it does. And I don't know how to stop that, especially once its started or at least peaked (at 12:30 AM, no less), but to wait it out. Which would be fine if I wasn't expected to function in normal society in the mean time.
Never thought I'd be wishing to be angsting about the ex. But I guess in comparison...well, at the very least, I can see those triggers coming a million miles away. This? Fuck I should have seen it, considering. But I thought I'd finally healed.
I should know by now that complete healing from this kind of stuff is bullocks.
I need sleep. And a good cry. And a hug. Not sure I'll get any of these, especially not tonight.
And I need to not be 1200 miles away from my only real means of support.
And I also need a much less delicate psyche. But I don't think that'll happen until at least one of the other two changes.
Sigh. This shit. It never fucking stops. And I really should see it coming by now, but I never do.
And some of it shouldn't affect me in the first place. I mean, really, self.
But it does. And I don't know how to stop that, especially once its started or at least peaked (at 12:30 AM, no less), but to wait it out. Which would be fine if I wasn't expected to function in normal society in the mean time.
Never thought I'd be wishing to be angsting about the ex. But I guess in comparison...well, at the very least, I can see those triggers coming a million miles away. This? Fuck I should have seen it, considering. But I thought I'd finally healed.
I should know by now that complete healing from this kind of stuff is bullocks.
I need sleep. And a good cry. And a hug. Not sure I'll get any of these, especially not tonight.
