(no subject)

[axeslade]

Happy Turkey Day people! Letsee, wrote quite a bit more on Put Away Your Dreams, finished reading Dancing in My Nuddy Pants and started reading I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. The apple pie is calling my name, but the family's in a nasty mood so I'll wait to ask if it's okay to eat the tempting pastry. Below is what I've added to Put Away Your Dreams.


2
Well, This is Certainly Awkward



James groaned when he heard the doorbell buzz. It wasn’t just that he’d been a little reluctant to set up this meeting, but he felt awful. He’d managed to dress up a little so he didn’t look quite so sick, but he’d probably still scare the shit out of Amy.
Amy…god, her name still made him tremble after all these years. God, he hoped the years had been kinder on her than they had been on him.
He managed to trudge to the door, opening it and blinking a few times, making sure his cloudy mind wasn’t making her look different then she really did. Nope. God…she really was washed up.
James cleared his throat, coughing a little,
“Sorry about…well I didn’t think you’d actually…umm…”
“Yeah.”
She looked down at her feet and he sighed,
“Well, come on in then.”

Amy twitched her fingers nervously, wishing she hadn’t smoked her last cigarette on the way over. God, seeing James again…what was she going to say? Blurt out the second he opened the door that she loved him and she was sorry about the fiasco with Tom, that maybe they could be at least platonic lovers in the time he had left? Act like she’d moved on? Say nothing, wait for him to make the first move?
In the end, she chose the last option. Mostly because she was afraid if she did speak, it would be an anguished howl. He came to the door looking like the walking dead. True, his eyes were still that deep shade of violet that haunted her dreams and he was still skinny. But his eyes were hollow now, his skin paler than ever, and his red silk shirt and black pants hung off him as if he’d shrunk several sizes in only thirteen years.
When he spoke, her heart broke in two. God, his voice was so raspy. She wanted to just fall down on her knees crying and asking why Fate had done this to him. Instead, she just said one little word to him and walked into the apartment.
James sat down on the sofa and Amy followed, sitting at the other end. Lord, is this what they’d come to? In only a decade they’d gone from sitting in each other’s laps to…
“So, I uh…fuck I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never…”, he laughed a little,
“Never realized I was dying before.”
“Do you have to joke?”
“At this point, it’s either that or blow my brains out,” he smiled wanly,
“I guess I should try to catch up on everything. You, ah, working?”
“Lounge singer.”
“Oh Jesus…”
“I know.”
“Seeing anyone?”
“Two hour stands.”
“How long has it been since you saw Tom last?”
Amy gaped. How he could ask about Tom…well, she couldn’t really blame him. The last he’d seen, Tom had been pinning her against a wall and…well.
“Ah, um, actually I haven’t heard from him since we split. After you left…I don’t know. I guess in a weird way having you out of the picture made me unable to stand him.”
“Don’t lie Am’. We didn’t come here to hide things.”
She was surprised at the bitterness in his voice, though she shouldn’t have been. She pressed her lips together,
“All right…I haven't seen him eleven years. But it was just casual sex after you ditched me.”
“I ditched you?! Who was tongue fucking with Tom w-“
“I don’t think we came here to reopen old wounds, either.”
“I just want to know why they’re there.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want some explanations Amy,” tears were trembling in his eyes and he didn’t even bother to blink them away,
“You were the only person I ever loved and you…you tossed me out like yesterday’s paper! You don’t know how much that hurt.”
“Yes I do,” she swallowed,
“I know exactly how fucking bad it hurts.”
“Tell me then. Tell me why the fuck you did everything you did to me, why you begged me to take you back so many times and then screwed me over. Tell me why you made me believe you loved me,” he was crying now, coughing sobs. Amy leaned forward, putting her hand under his chin and softly wiping the tears away,
“Where do you want me to start?” she whispered. James coughed loudly, tossing his graying hair out of his face,
“Whenever you supposedly fell in love with me,” he sniffled. Amy sighed, leaning back on the sofa and waiting until he did the same to start.

3
Mistake or Surprise?

Amy had always been bored to death by all the ‘gatherings’ Tom dragged her to, but this one took the cake. Even those who at least faked enthusiasm at other times were sitting by the punch yawning and checking their watches to see when it would be all right to leave without seeming ‘unfashionably’ tired of the stagnant scene.
Of course, Tom was having a blast. Always the life of the dullest party. He was chatting with one of his colleagues, a blonde by the name of Kathrina who had played his tragically depressed wife in his most recent film. Amy had asked if she could try for the role, but Tom said they were looking for someone who didn’t look depressed. And this was the man she was supposed to stay with until death did them part. Lord, let someone slit her throat now.
She was just thinking of sneaking out with some of the other wives for tequila shots when the microphone in the corner crackled and squeaked. She turned her head and almost fainted. The most breathtaking creature (besides Tom, of course) was sitting there with a guitar in his lap. He cleared his throat a few times, sweeping his neon green shag away from his face,
“Well ah…I guess I should thank my sister Roxy for getting me this gig and…oh hell with the pleasantries, this party needs some life thrown into it and I guess it’s up to me to do the throwing”, he laughed and started playing.


Can you see how they look at me
Their eyes are staring vacantly!
I’m the one they call the queer
The fairy boy, I’m the one they fear


Amy saw Tom rolling his eyes but for once, she didn’t copy his opinion. God, this boy was beautiful and he had talent. Sadly, however, most of the crowd didn’t seem to share her views. They were roused from their lethargy by the words, and once they really realized what he was saying, they started hissing and throwing things. Amy saw the boy exit quickly and sighed. Oh well.
Tom came up to her then, wrapping an arm around her waist and biting her neck,
“Mmm, how’s my girl?”
“Fab.”
“You don’t sound like you mean it. You’re feeling okay, aren’t you?”
“Smashing.”
He pulled away from her, grabbing her hair,
“What’s the bloody hell is wrong with you?” he hissed. Amy blinked rapidly, stuttering,
“I-I’m just t-tired. I’ll be fine in the morning.”
“You better be”, he shoved away from her,
“Nicolette’s signaling me. I’ll see you after the party.”
Amy nodded and watched him go. Once she was sure he wouldn’t see, she snuck around to the back of the lounge, intent on finding this mysterious boy.

"I can't believe it! Those bloody tossers booed me off, and to make it worse someone threw a fucking shot glass at me! They could have slit my throat!"
"Calm down, will ya? I swear, that temper is going to be the death of you", Roxy clicked her tongue, wiping off her brother's makeup. She picked up her leather jacket, handing James his when there was a knock at the door. She sighed and sashayed over,
"H-", she stopped when she saw who it was. Amy Slayer, wife of the openly bisexual actor Tomas Slayer. Amy twiddled with her hair for a moment, clearing her throat,
"Uh, hello, I was just wondering if I could talk to-", she stopped and Roxy whirled around when there was a loud clunk. She saw that James had dropped a bottle of nail polish on the floor, obviously as stunned about Amy's arrival as Roxy was. Roxy grinned,
"Well, I guess I'll, uh, leave you two alone", she smiled nervously, edging past Amy and slamming the door behind her.
James nervously edged the nail polish bottle under the vanity and stood up, shoving the chair in Amy's general direction. She smiled, putting her hand up,
"Oh don't, please, just treat me normal all right?"
"I'm just doing what any gentleman would do for a beauty like you", he smiled a little. He wasn't just calling her beautiful because she was an actor's wife, either. True; he'd always respected Tomas as an artist, had seen every one of his films and collected magazine articles on him, but it had been Amy who had really drawn his eye. Tomas was sexy, no denying that, but he flaunted the fact that he shagged with anyone and anything. Amy just gave out small hints of being a sultry vixen, almost denied her sexuality. And that made her even more alluring.
She smiled at him,
"You're too kind", she shoved her hair behind her ear,
"I ah, I was wondering...well, I really liked your music. Really. I know everyone else seemed to hate it, but they're too set in their ways is all. They don't warm up easily to new things. They're all such phonies. But I was thinking...well, Tom and I are always looking for new partners", she smiled
"So if you're up to it-"
"Of course!", James immediatly regretted how quickly he responded. The regret quickly faded away, though, when she giggled. God, she had such a pretty little laugh,
"Well, come on then", she jerked her head slightly, holding out her hand. James licked her lips, trying to tamp down the shaking in his entire body. Looking into her deep blue eyes, he wrapped his fingers around her's.

"Are you busy tonight?"
"I don't think so, why?"
"Well, Jackie's out of town for the week, so I was wondering if you might want to-", Nicolette cut off when she saw Amy walking up behind Tom. Tom smiled a little, oblivious to his wife's entrance,
"Where are you staying, again?"
"Tom?"
Tom turned around, smiling and cupping Amy's face,
"Hello love. Are you feeling better?"
"A little,"Amy gave Nicolette a knowing glance, and Nicolette cleared her throat,
"Ah, I really should be going, see you later Tom", she picked up her purse and dashed out.
Tom kissed Amy deeply,
"You ready to go darling?"
Amy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping at him,
"Well, I met someone and I was wondering if you'd mind if we took him home with us."
"Where is this new playmate?"
Amy jerked her hand a little and James walked over, nervously adjusted his purple rhinestone jacket,
"Ah, hi."
"Hello gorgeous, and what's your name?"
"James Worthington."
"Ohh, a respectable lad, aren't you? Amy and I will soon change that, right love?", he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and firecely biting her neck. She giggled and smiled; but James could tell that the gesture was just an impulse, that she wasn't really enjoying his 'love nips'.
"Tom!"
James cleared his throat so Amy could stop this little charade for a moment,
"Ah, but uh, my stage name's Safilix. Safilix Shark."
Tom grinned, looking at James like he was a total idiot,
"I guess we should get going, unless you want to do it in this tacky place."
Amy nodded a little and let Tom take her hand, pulling her out. Instead of just following them like a lost puppy, as James had a feeling Tom expected him to do, he wrapped his hand around Amy's free one. She turned to him, smiling a sad little smile. She squeezed his fingers and then turned back to Tom.

"God it feels good to be home", Amy kicked off her platform boots, unbuttoning her loose pink blouse and tossing it over the side of the couch.
Tom grinned, crawling over behind her. He wrapped his arms across her chest, nuzzling her neck,
"Mmm..."
"Tom!", she giggled, wriggling away from him,
"Have you forgotten we have company?"
Tom looked up at James,
"Of course not", he moved over so he and Amy were thigh-to-thigh, taking her hands. He pulled her to stand up and and gestured to James,
"Come on."
James swallowed, following the couple down the hall. Amy looked over her shoulder at him, smiling a bit,
"You're a virgin, aren't you?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Just a vibe you're giving off", she batted her eyes innocently,
"Don't worry, we don't bite hard."
Tom laughed, shoving the door open. James swallowed when he saw what must have been twenty people having sex, in couples or more often in groups. Amy and Tom walked to a free corner and picked up where they'd left off in the living room. As Tom was devouring her mouth, Amy jerked a hand in James' general direction, beckoning him to come closer. James licked his lips, tossing his jacket to the floor.
Amy lifted her eyes at him, smiling. She slid out of her blue jean skirt so she was standing in nothing but a pair of black lace panties. A shudder ran down his spine, his talent pressing against his tight silver pants. He walked over to her and grabbed her wrists so he could hold her arms above her head. She moaned softly, legs shaking as James pulled her underwear down her legs with his free hand. Releasing her arms, he put his arm around her neck and kissed her passionatly.
He saw Tom walk around behind her, reaching over her shoulders to grab her breasts. Sparked with a little jealousy and quite a bit of lust, James ran his hands down her sides to her rear, grabbing her and pulling her hips against his. She sighed, her head falling back onto her shoulders. James looked up into Tom's eyes and felt his talent swell against Amy's thigh. Releasing her, he walked around to Tom. Tom smiled slyly, taking his arms from Amy and unzipping his pants. James nervously did the same, wrapping his fingers around Tom's member. Tom shuddered a little, brushing his lips against James'. James heard Amy groan and almost whipped his head around. He'd never known any women who were turned on watching men have sex. Then again, one of the men involved was her husband.
James felt his breath catch when Tom tensed and came in his hand. God...he'd made a celebrity...he couldn't even think about it. He heard footsteps coming from the other side and turned around. He saw Amy standing there holding a piece of black lace and...something else in her hands.
Tom walked forward, obviously knowing what Amy was up to. He shook his head,
"Am'..."
"You know I hate being crushed by you big strong men, and I don't like being left out", she kissed his lips and James saw what was in her hands. Oh God. She stepped into the lacy scrap, which turned out to be a sort of sling, and slid the toy into it. She glanced at the two of them,
"So, who can stand having two of us on top of him?"
Tom grinned, laying down on the couch. James shuddered, glancing at Amy. She smiled and jerked her head in Tom's direction. Shaking, James laid down ontop of him. He felt Amy kneel behind him and bit his lips. Fuck. He pressed up into Tom, staring into his light blue eyes so he wouldn't focus on the odd sensation of the plastic filling him. Jesus...
He felt Amy's teeth brushing his neck and panted, crushing his mouth against Tom's. Something inside him seized up and he groaned loudly, feeling Tom's legs wrap around his waist at almost the same time.
After Amy slid off of him and threw the toy to the side, James lay between the couple, letting them pet and stroke him.
"So...", Tom slid his finger down James' chest,
"Tell us a bit about yourself, James."
"Well, I uh...", he wiped the sweat from his forehead,
"I live with my sister, my hair's natrually black and I ah...I want to be a rockstar."
They both laughed a little and he glared,
"What's so funny?"
Amy held her hands up, trying to calm down,
"Nothing dahling, we just hear that from so many people. I'm not saying you're not good, but..."
Tom smiled,
"We're sure you'll make it, pet. After all, Amy found you and we know how good she is at spotting talent", he grinned. Amy smiled, moving around behind James and laying on her back. James saw Tom lay down, his head down near her waist. He stood up, deciding he should leave them alone now. He pulled his pants on and walked to the door. Turning to look back, he whispered,
"You better watch out Tom, because I'm gonna be huge."

Amy stretched her neck so she could watch James' exit. Lord, he had such a nice body. Soft mouth, soft hands...
She noticed Tom had froze, obviously wondering why she was thinking while they fooled around. Sighing, she put her hands in his hair to pull him close. Someday she'd find someone who really loved her, hadn't just used her to get where he wanted and then kept her around for apperance's sake. Someday...

4
It Seemed Lke the Thing to Do at the Time...

"So you're trying to tell me that you fell for me that night. Why, then, did you refuse to go with me when I told you I felt the same way?"
"Look...I was young and I thought I was in love."
"Even when you knew that Tom didn't feel the same way."
Amy sighed,
"I guess I thought there was something bitterly romantic in it. You know, unrequieted love."
James snorted,
"Sure."
"And it's not like I didn't go with you in the end. It just took some time-"
"And a beating from Tom."
Amy drew in a sharp breath, she'd promised herself that no matter what she wasn't going to get angry with him,
"-for me to make up my mind."
"Did you go with me because you wanted to leave him, or because you wanted me?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know damn well what it means. Did you just want to get out of that hell hole for the one night or did you really want me?"
"To be honest, I didn't know then. I mean, I was stoned and depressed. All I know if you got me out, and I really was thankful for that."
"I'd believe it if you'd stayed out."
"Please don't talk like that. I really did think he'd changed. I know now..."
"Oh please stop with the bull, Am'," he stood up, shaking off her hand when she tried to help him,
"I can walk to the bedroom by my bloody self", he glared at her,
"You can stay here tonight, there's some extra pillows and sheets in the closet."
Amy nodded, walking over to the linen closet. Once James was out of hearing range, she leaned her head against one of the shelves and cried.