![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeSince I just posted about it a new comm, for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
splix
Writing is the closest I have to religion. Since I'm one of those people who thinks the characters come to me and are not products of me...when a new person comes in, or when I get a scene that is amazingly beautiful (even if it's a sad/painful beauty), it takes my breath away. If you've seen me write (I think only one person has), when I've *really* been hit by something, I'm sure it looks...manic.
I used to try to force stories out (some of my oldest fanfic and the Mary Sue original thing no one shall see). But...it's kind of like the conservation of energy thing. I can't create characters/stories. The way I see it, everything I have in my head exists on some other plane of reality. So I'm just here to tell their stories because they can't.
Many of the characters that come to me are damaged in some ways. The protag. of Pearlshine in particular. She and those like her came to me, I believe, because the ways they have been hurt are ways loved ones have been hurt (or very similar) and it was a way for me to work through my anger and sorrow over those things.
Now that I'm in a better place...having been so anxious/depressed for so many years (thank you middle school), I have no idea how to cope with joy. So, afer some time, I'm getting characters who know how to live joy. Yes, bad things have happened to them. But the beauty in their lives so outweighs the sorrow. They're teaching me how to embrace happiness. To stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and just live. Not to mention that several of my characters are GLBT, and I've learned so much from their experiences.
I do want to have my work published. But I could live if it never is, if the reason they don't see the rest of the world is because no one will take them as is. If someone wanted to take out the male friend of Pearlshine's protag, for example, because they don't see his purpose. Conservation of energy, nothing is created or destroyed. These people are integral parts of their worlds, and I refuse to compromise that for anything. It would be betraying their trust, and that is more valuable to me than any paycheck.
splixWriting is the closest I have to religion. Since I'm one of those people who thinks the characters come to me and are not products of me...when a new person comes in, or when I get a scene that is amazingly beautiful (even if it's a sad/painful beauty), it takes my breath away. If you've seen me write (I think only one person has), when I've *really* been hit by something, I'm sure it looks...manic.
I used to try to force stories out (some of my oldest fanfic and the Mary Sue original thing no one shall see). But...it's kind of like the conservation of energy thing. I can't create characters/stories. The way I see it, everything I have in my head exists on some other plane of reality. So I'm just here to tell their stories because they can't.
Many of the characters that come to me are damaged in some ways. The protag. of Pearlshine in particular. She and those like her came to me, I believe, because the ways they have been hurt are ways loved ones have been hurt (or very similar) and it was a way for me to work through my anger and sorrow over those things.
Now that I'm in a better place...having been so anxious/depressed for so many years (thank you middle school), I have no idea how to cope with joy. So, afer some time, I'm getting characters who know how to live joy. Yes, bad things have happened to them. But the beauty in their lives so outweighs the sorrow. They're teaching me how to embrace happiness. To stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and just live. Not to mention that several of my characters are GLBT, and I've learned so much from their experiences.
I do want to have my work published. But I could live if it never is, if the reason they don't see the rest of the world is because no one will take them as is. If someone wanted to take out the male friend of Pearlshine's protag, for example, because they don't see his purpose. Conservation of energy, nothing is created or destroyed. These people are integral parts of their worlds, and I refuse to compromise that for anything. It would be betraying their trust, and that is more valuable to me than any paycheck.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2009-04-01 07:09 am (UTC):) And I agree with the last statement. That's what I admire about Stephenie a bit. If there were parts of her story that needed changing and she agreed (like while how Phil apparently came off as a child molester originally), that was cool... But if there were aspects about her world that just fit too perfectly, she refused to let them manipulate the story. It was HER baby and she was going to keep the vitals a part of the story.
It's gotten to the point where I want to get published because I think that through my writing, I can help somebody. I think that's why I'm so drawn to Manifest -- because I know that there's someone out there who is going to identify with a character so much that it will somehow affect them. But I don't need all of the money and fame. It'd be NICE, but... Yeah, I can live without.