It's bringing me to my knees...
Nov. 29th, 2008 04:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeThe Other F Word
There's a whole lotta good stuff here, but these parts really jumped out at me
"YKIOK.” For those who remember the early days of the Internet, USENET and the coming together of marginalized communities, the leather community was faced with a quandary: people of a billion different persuasions, many of whom did not understand any other persuasions, all clashed over whether things like humiliation play were responsible, whether breath play was safe, whether 24/7 lifestyle living trod beyond consensuality. It was a chaotic period that calmer minds managed to bring to a truce with the concept of “YKIOK.” As long as a person found a way to practice their passions safely, responsibly and consensually, they argued, then “your kink is OK.” It’s “live and let live” set into a strict on-paper legislative policy (what else would you expect from control freaks :) ?). Personally, I don’t understand “adult babies” play (adults in diapers, etc.), but I’ve learned enough about it to know that it is not the same thing as pedophilia, and for some people even seems to provide a catharsis. It’s not my “thing,” but if it stays within safe, responsible, consensual and respectful behaviour, I see no other reason to vilify it. The trans community, with its many divisions that sometimes seem to be from entirely different planets, would do well to learn from “YKIOK” — although here, the work “kink” would often be a misnomer (substitute “identity?”).
....
Communication. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another environment that so earnestly encouraged open, soul-baring and honest communication. Now, some of what we communicate is coloured by our personal beliefs and biases of the moment, and some of it is clouded by our own personal confusions, but it is still often as honest as we are capable of — which is all that one can ask. Too, as one becomes more jaded, it becomes far more difficult to bare oneself in this way, but when one finds a partner with whom one is able, nothing else compares.
There's a whole lotta good stuff here, but these parts really jumped out at me
"YKIOK.” For those who remember the early days of the Internet, USENET and the coming together of marginalized communities, the leather community was faced with a quandary: people of a billion different persuasions, many of whom did not understand any other persuasions, all clashed over whether things like humiliation play were responsible, whether breath play was safe, whether 24/7 lifestyle living trod beyond consensuality. It was a chaotic period that calmer minds managed to bring to a truce with the concept of “YKIOK.” As long as a person found a way to practice their passions safely, responsibly and consensually, they argued, then “your kink is OK.” It’s “live and let live” set into a strict on-paper legislative policy (what else would you expect from control freaks :) ?). Personally, I don’t understand “adult babies” play (adults in diapers, etc.), but I’ve learned enough about it to know that it is not the same thing as pedophilia, and for some people even seems to provide a catharsis. It’s not my “thing,” but if it stays within safe, responsible, consensual and respectful behaviour, I see no other reason to vilify it. The trans community, with its many divisions that sometimes seem to be from entirely different planets, would do well to learn from “YKIOK” — although here, the work “kink” would often be a misnomer (substitute “identity?”).
....
Communication. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another environment that so earnestly encouraged open, soul-baring and honest communication. Now, some of what we communicate is coloured by our personal beliefs and biases of the moment, and some of it is clouded by our own personal confusions, but it is still often as honest as we are capable of — which is all that one can ask. Too, as one becomes more jaded, it becomes far more difficult to bare oneself in this way, but when one finds a partner with whom one is able, nothing else compares.
