So maybe it will stop rattling around in my head

[axeslade]

Okay...so I've been thinking about this for awhile now. And it'll probably make very little sense, but blame the Hedwig.

As I've been doing for the past...hmm, six years? I've been thinking a lot about my orientation. My gender i.d. is becoming something that I, if not understand, am comfortable with. However....

The bisexual label and all it implies. *wince*

I know that my hero Angie Bowie defines bisexuality as the ability to be attracted to both sexes, not that you necessarily act on it. However...

Look at the men I'm attracted to. They're all very feminine. And their lowers, nngh, no thank you.

I only like my masculnity in women for the most part.

A lot of this has come out of talking to Melody, who defines herself as a lesbian, but still finds men to be beautiful (like the men of VG). She'd never do them, but she finds them attractive.

I...

I feel more like a theoretical bisexual. Queer is seeming to fit more and more. Because like I've said many times, I'll never do a man. Half my male side being uncomfortable with the idea, half my physical body being incapable.

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/erika/dar/series.php?view=archive&chapter=13083
http://www.webcomicsnation.com/erika/dar/series.php?view=archive&chapter=25595

That's....

kind of me right now.

I'm really...umm...not sure about this now. I love this. I thought I was in the right slot, and maybe not.

I really

really

Don't fucking know.


Now I need to go get dressed to see my grandmother who refuses to believe I'm anything but straight. *sigh*