Break all the rules
Aug. 4th, 2008 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeTo pass the time until my copy of BD arrives, I looked at quotes from the first book today. Sometimes...I feel like Edward. Just for all the things I've put Bri through. Hell, most people wouldn't be friends with me, much less want to be WITH me, after half of this...I mean, I wish I could be normal, you know? Or what society defines as normal...just for her. She can pass as 'normal', from the outside anyway. But as the years ago by, and I get the money to fix myself, I won't. And I'm never going to. And...it's terrifying. The idea that because of what I am, she could get hurt.
Could you believe that, despite everything I’ve put you through, I love you, too?
I infuriate myself. The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself.
I’m never angry with you — how could I be? Brave, trusting… warm as you are.
I was prepared to feel… relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn’t expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me… happy.
Isn’t it supposed to be like this? The glory of first love, and all that. It’s incredible, isn’t it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?
Could you believe that, despite everything I’ve put you through, I love you, too?
I infuriate myself. The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself.
I’m never angry with you — how could I be? Brave, trusting… warm as you are.
I was prepared to feel… relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn’t expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me… happy.
Isn’t it supposed to be like this? The glory of first love, and all that. It’s incredible, isn’t it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?
