Meet me in the dark...

[axeslade]

Okay, in an attempt to drag myself out of the nice little pit of self pity I've dug...the bit of vampire story I've written. Like I said before, I don't know when this bit takes place. Obviously this needs a lot of work. I think it's really a bit of character planning, since it shows a good deal of Pamela and Ambrose's personalities (though really more Ambrose's, which makes sense I guess since it's from his POV). Constructive crit is loved, I'll answer what questions I can.

I walked back to the apartment trembling, and I’m sure if I could I would’ve been sweating. All I could think was Let her say yes, God or whatever still looks on me with favor, please let her say yes.

I’m truly amazed I was able to unlock the door, the way my hands were shaking. I stepped in quietly, briefly thankful for my affliction when my sensitive ears picked up the sound of her faint breathing.

“Pam?” I called softly as I stepped towards the bed, hoping she was already awake.
She was. She stretched and pulled the covers down from her face. Limp strawberry-blonde hair fell across her face and tired green eyes met mine, making me wince. Of course, it wasn’t like this was a sudden change. She’d been wasting away for months now, even with the drugs she’d been taking. In fact, I suspected they were making her worse. Before she’d at least made some effort, eating when I reminded her to, putting on make up. Now all the food I left for her went untouched, and she hadn’t changed her clothes or even brushed her hair for weeks because it took too much effort.

Now she lifted herself from the bed, as much as she could, and tried to smile.

“Ambrose…you’re home early…shouldn’t you be hunting?”

I held up the brown paper-wrapped bundle for her to see.

“I’ll be all right. I just had to see you.”

Her smile grew for a moment, then faded as she began coughing. I dropped the meat to the floor without even thinking and rushed to her side. Even though I knew too well that this particular threat was one I couldn’t protect her against, I still couldn’t let myself stand idly by while she suffered.

“I’m all right,” she said weakly a few moments later, gazing up at me with shining eyes. I made myself smile, for her sake, and clutched her hands as I sat down by her feet.

“Pam, I changed my mind,” I said hesitantly, hoping that even in her weakened state she would understand.

She did. Her eyes grew wide for an instant, then went back to their normal size. She shook her head quickly, tightening her grip on my hands.

“You don’t have to. I know how hard it’ll be for you-“

“Are you scared?” I asked softly. I couldn’t blame her if she was. I’d never done this before, had told her I would never try to change her out of the fear that I would end up killing her for good. And, my own weaknesses aside, I knew it would hurt. I remembered too clearly when I had been infected five hundred years before, and the idea of Pam suffering a tenth of that kind of pain was what had stopped me before.

She shook her head before I could brood anymore, tearing her hands from mine to cup my face.

“No! God no, Ambrose, how could I be scared of you, of that? I’ve thinking about it for so long, but….” she swallowed tensely.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. I don’t mind if I have to…I mean…I’ve sort of resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to…” die. She didn’t say it, but the word still hung in the air between us. In an attempt to chase it away, I made myself laugh.

“Pam, darling,” I kissed her forehead, shivering when I tasted the fear and illness in her cold sweat. “We’ve talked about that before. I know you don’t mind. But I can’t…” I sighed, cursing myself for being so damned selfish. I wasn’t the one who had been attacked by a terrible plague.

Hoping that maybe it would muffle what I was saying and that Pam would be too exhausted to ask again, I leaned my temple against hers, mouth in her hair.

“I just can’t live without you. That’s all.”

I felt a shiver run through her, and made to pull away. She grabbed me though, pulling me tight against her.

“Ambrose…”

The love in her voice would have made me cry, if I were still capable of such things. As it was, I kissed the tears that were trailing from her emerald eyes, cupping her face in my hand.

“Do you…I won’t if you don’t want me to. You know that, right? You can tell me to go away right now and never come back and I’ll listen.” True, I would do anything Pam asked, but as I said this I still felt like my long-dormant heart was being torn from my body.

She laughed a little, shaking her head.

“No. No I want to--I want eternity or whatever we have with you. Before I would have begged someone to kill me-really kill me-but the idea of spending my afterlife without you hurts too much.”

I smiled sadly, running my thumbs over her scarred wrists several times, wishing desperately that I had met her before they had been inflicted so I wouldn’t have to do what I was about to now. Then I laid her back against the mattress. How many times we had lain together like this-how many times I had pictured doing this exact thing....

I lay over her for the longest time, just staring at her. Even in her emaciated state, she was still the most beautiful creature I had seen in all my life, and that was truly saying something. Her eyes were sparkling with a light I thought had been extinguished months ago. Her hair suddenly felt like warm velvet instead of the dead dry grass it had been for so long. But what made it hardest for me to draw this out instead of plunging right into her was the fact that her face, instead of being a sickly white or yellow, was suddenly rosy pink with mingled joy and apprehension.

Hoping to ease a little of the tension I felt in her body, I leaned down and kissed her forehead, running my thumb across her lips.

“I promise that it won’t hurt anymore than it has to. I’ll be gentle,” I swore, hoping beyond hope that I’d be able to keep my word.

“I know,” she whispered back, trust clear in her voice. I smiled at that, marveling that through it all she could still trust me. Then I started kissing my way along her face, covering her forehead and cheeks and eyelids. Moving down, forcing myself to pass over her slender neck, instead sliding off her shirt and going for her breasts. A shiver ran through me as I felt her heart beating against my mouth. Just last week the idea of her heart stopping forever had caused me no small amount of anguish. Now it brought me an overwhelming calm and joy.

I continued on this way, kissing and stroking all over her body, murmuring to her that it was to help her relax, but really it was to relieve my own tension and fear. I had never done anything like this before, only had it done to me and that was so long ago, I prayed I knew what I was doing. If I caused her any undue suffering, especially if it came to nothing, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Finally I felt her gently but insistently tugging at my hair, then as I looked down she cocked her head to the side, smirking a little. I laughed. She knew that it was me who was afraid now, since she was very obviously ready.

I lowered my eyes a bit, then looked up to meet hers.

“I love you,” I whispered.

She grinned, reaching up quickly to run her tongue across my lips.

“I know. Now hurry up before you lose your nerve.”

I laughed again, then, slowly, lowered my mouth to her neck…