Everybody's Got A Story

[axeslade]

Feeling slightly better *hugs Bri*I knew there was a reason to keep you around.

And some quotes from Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite if you touch their private parts.

[to his children]
Ula: You kids suck; you're good at everything!

[to Jocko the walruts]
Henry: Don't forget to use a condom, or in your case, a Hefty bag.

while playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]
Ula: You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
Ula: A shark bit me.
Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!

Ula's Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?
Ula: Uh, nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
Henry: You're the state idiot of Hawaii.

Nick: What did Sue say?
Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.

[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]
Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.
Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT!

Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first.
Henry: That's my joke.

Dr. Keats: Tom was in an accident and now he only has a ten-second memory.
Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.

Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!