Life keeps bringing me back to you...

[axeslade]

Darn, I was just reminded of another show I loved. 'Just Shoot Me!' damn that show rocked. They used to air it in syndication, but don't anymore (same with Dharma and Greg, replaced it with fucking My Wife and Kids reruns)

Anyway, some awesome quotes

Nina: Guess what I have.
Dennis: Why, are they baffled down at the clinic?

Nina: I like to think of my body as a temple.
Dennis: Which explains why there's a line to get in on Friday nights.

Dennis: All women are just two drinks away from a girl-on-girl adventure.

Elliot: Trust me. Revenge is a dish best served with maple syrup.

Elliot: Jack, give me two words that sell magazines.
Jack: Multiple orgasms.

Elliot: Just don't wear any makeup.
Maya: Why not?
Elliot: My mom will call you a whore.

Dennis: If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her and erase all the porn on my computer.

Dennis: You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas.

Elliot: No way. Last time I took you on a photo shoot with me, you walked in on Kate Moss taking a shower.
Dennis: It was an innocent mistake. I was trying to walk in on Elle McPherson.

Elliot: I'm creepy?
Dennis: Like a backrub from grandma.

after breaking up with a pro-female boxer because he was acting "macho"]
Dennis: Macho? What are you talking about? I'm a wimp! Hell, I've got a porcelain kitten in my gym bag!

Dennis: Intellectual and stimulating? Hmmm... I could read Shakespeare while you spank me.

Vicki: I don't need twelve ways to fake an orgasm. You got one good one, you're covered.

Dennis: Ooh, a sex dream. How was I?
Maya: Absent.

Donnie DiMauro: Donnie wants a kiss.
Maya: Oh sure.
[kisses Donnie on the cheek]
Donnie DiMauro: No, Donnie wants a kiss like on Showtime.

[Finch's father thinks he's gay, and he's trying to convince him that he's not]
Red Finch: I'm sorry I missed all those signs when you were growing up.
Dennis: What signs?
Red Finch: Well, what about that "special relationship" you had with that effeminate guy Kelly?
Dennis: Kelly was a girl!
Red Finch: Wearing a baseball cap? I don't think so. And what about that time you fell off the roof - ah, you screamed like a baby.
Dennis: I was 5! I landed on a rake, I split my head open! They said I was lucky to be alive!
Red Finch: All right, don't throw a hissy fit!

[Finch's father thinks he's gay, and he's trying to convince him he's not. Elliot walks by]
Dennis: Elliot, will you please tell him I'm not gay?
Elliot: You are so cute when you try to act butch.
[grabs Dennis and kisses him]

[Nina is late for a meeting and is unapologetic]
Nina: I was having sex with a man almost half my age! And you know who I have to thank for it?
Elliot: The man who invented chloroform?

[to Nina, in response to a stupid comment]
Elliot: Let me ask you something - when you tilt your head to the side, does it sound like a rain stick?

Nina: Honesty is one of those things people say they want, but they really don't, like education or children.

[Maya is trying to talk Nina into walking somewhere, but she doesn't want to]
Nina: God gave us feet for three reasons: to be massaged, pedicured, and tied to the other end of the bed.

[Maya distracted Nina while she was walking across the street by pointing out a street juggler and now she's in a cast]
Nina: Little tip: never yell, 'Look, he's got six balls!' at someone who's about to step off a curb.

Nina: I've still *got* it!
Dennis: I'll have the pharmacy send over more cream.

Maya: So Elliot, are you still coming by tonight at 8 to... help me move my couch?
Elliot: Yes, but I might be a little late because I have to stop by the drug store to buy some... slip covers.
Maya: No, you don't need to do that because I have something I can put in my... couch... that does the same thing as... slip covers. So just show up at 8.
Dennis: So, you and Maya are gonna hook up, huh?
Elliot: Jeez, Dennis, how do you know that?
Dennis: Please. Watching that exchange was like watching Forrest Gump and Nell plan a booty call.

Nina: Is there anything worse than Monday mornings?
Elliot: It's Wednesday afternoon. Where have you been all week?

[Nina comes in with an orangutan]
Dennis: I've seen this movie – "Every Which Way But Sober."

Jack: Nina, how are the interviews coming for the new assistant?
Nina: I have another one this afternoon.
Jack: Good ,I think I'll sit in.
Nina: Jack, I think I'm perfectly capable of choosing my own assistant.
Jack: Oh, is that so? Let's look at the list. How about this pretty boy John Harder?
Nina: His name was John Martin.
Jack: Then how come I kept hearing you say John Har - Oh,I guess that explains Billy Faster.

Comments

[crystalxshadows.livejournal.com]

"Just Shoot Me" was always quite funny, and I LOVE "Dharma & Greg".

[spacequeen.livejournal.com]

I was never crazy about Just Shoot Me, but I adore Dharma and Greg. ;)