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So, if you follow me on twitter or Facebook or on the toriphorums, you probably already know this. But I've decided that at the end of this summer, I'm going to start the application process for joining the Peace Corps. Not a guarantee I'll get in, but...
It hit me in Geology today. There was this picture of the aftermath of an earthquake in Mexico. And...
I can't really explain it. But the thought came to me and it just seemed right. I've been in such a good mood today because of it. And I think it's what I need. I need a change to shake me out of the place I've been in for the past couple years.
I'm sure you're thinking (hell, part of ME is thinking) that, hey, shouldn't being with Bri and accepting the gender crap and all that be enough change? Sure, logically. But you know...I think part of the reason I'm so stagnant in writing is that it wasn't
A few of you knew (though locked posts) that I had a crush on Bri for years. I think everyone around me besides her did, really. And a lot of people, when they saw us together, asked if we were a couple. In otherwords, pretty much everyone expected we'd end up together eventually. And I think deep down I did too. Can't explain it, but being with her just always made sense. Which, I think, is why I was always open with her about my GID, even if I wasn't really open to myself (think that makes sense in a weird way).
So...all that stuff? The gender stuff and Bri? I was already working my way through the worst of that WHILE dealing with NE and some other things. (Hell, NE knew about how I felt for Bri and the littlest bit of the gender stuff) So all that drama is kind of bundled up together in my head. And NE...NE is very much entangled in my writing for a lot of reasons. There's a part of me that really doesn't know how to write without NE. You'd think writing a 400 page novel would have shook me of that, but for various reasons relating to that story, it didn't.
But the Peace Corps? Going somewhere for 2 1/4 years (I think that's rightish) where there might not be internet, where I've never been, helping people? Things that are not at all connected to ANY of that?
Yeah.
ETA: May end up waiting another year so I can take a year of French. My French is...err, yeah, heh...and since it's one of the language they ask if you speak, it'd probably help my application to have an at least basic grasp of it (seriously, I can't remember how to ask where the bathroom is...course, I had a pretty crap professor)
Ya know, never mind. French is one language I'm sure I can find lessons for online etc (hell, roommate has some Rosetta Stone programs, and one of them might be French). I am NOT delaying this. I delay too many things because I'm afraid. I'm not going to hide behind fear anymore.
It hit me in Geology today. There was this picture of the aftermath of an earthquake in Mexico. And...
I can't really explain it. But the thought came to me and it just seemed right. I've been in such a good mood today because of it. And I think it's what I need. I need a change to shake me out of the place I've been in for the past couple years.
I'm sure you're thinking (hell, part of ME is thinking) that, hey, shouldn't being with Bri and accepting the gender crap and all that be enough change? Sure, logically. But you know...I think part of the reason I'm so stagnant in writing is that it wasn't
A few of you knew (though locked posts) that I had a crush on Bri for years. I think everyone around me besides her did, really. And a lot of people, when they saw us together, asked if we were a couple. In otherwords, pretty much everyone expected we'd end up together eventually. And I think deep down I did too. Can't explain it, but being with her just always made sense. Which, I think, is why I was always open with her about my GID, even if I wasn't really open to myself (think that makes sense in a weird way).
So...all that stuff? The gender stuff and Bri? I was already working my way through the worst of that WHILE dealing with NE and some other things. (Hell, NE knew about how I felt for Bri and the littlest bit of the gender stuff) So all that drama is kind of bundled up together in my head. And NE...NE is very much entangled in my writing for a lot of reasons. There's a part of me that really doesn't know how to write without NE. You'd think writing a 400 page novel would have shook me of that, but for various reasons relating to that story, it didn't.
But the Peace Corps? Going somewhere for 2 1/4 years (I think that's rightish) where there might not be internet, where I've never been, helping people? Things that are not at all connected to ANY of that?
Yeah.
Ya know, never mind. French is one language I'm sure I can find lessons for online etc (hell, roommate has some Rosetta Stone programs, and one of them might be French). I am NOT delaying this. I delay too many things because I'm afraid. I'm not going to hide behind fear anymore.
