Not an inch more room to self destruct

Fuck it, I really need to see about getting into therapy again. Finding someone I can trust, tho, that might be a problem.

And I need to not be 1200 miles away from my only real means of support.

And I also need a much less delicate psyche. But I don't think that'll happen until at least one of the other two changes.

Sigh. This shit. It never fucking stops. And I really should see it coming by now, but I never do.

And some of it shouldn't affect me in the first place. I mean, really, self.

But it does. And I don't know how to stop that, especially once its started or at least peaked (at 12:30 AM, no less), but to wait it out. Which would be fine if I wasn't expected to function in normal society in the mean time.

Never thought I'd be wishing to be angsting about the ex. But I guess in comparison...well, at the very least, I can see those triggers coming a million miles away. This? Fuck I should have seen it, considering. But I thought I'd finally healed.

I should know by now that complete healing from this kind of stuff is bullocks.

I need sleep. And a good cry. And a hug. Not sure I'll get any of these, especially not tonight.

(no subject)

Doing better today. Before class, I used my filled coffee card to get a free mocha. Om nom nom. Then I walked down to the library and got some stuff, and put the next Outlander book on hold. Did some homework. Now planning on curling up with one of my books (Love Stories of WWII) and possibly some tea. ^_^