Does it matter if we're born this way?
Let's stop asking whether we're born gay or not. Because there are real consequences to placing so much of our self-worth and our politics on other people's decisions to think more or less of us based on how our sexuality is determined. We keep asking questions about whether or not we're born gay, and allowing ourselves to be defined by them, without asking: So what if someone chooses to be gay? Do they get fewer rights if they choose? Are they less deserving of our collective protection? What the hell does "gay" mean, anyway, in a world where a lot of us, including supposedly "straight" people, define ourselves in ways that defy "normal" categories?
The idea of justifying our existence based on scientific evidence of our gay genes only reiterates a pathological model of gayness and, let's face it, a revulsion towards queer sex. After all, when someone says, "I'll tolerate you/give you your rights because I know you can't help being who you are," what they're really saying is, "Ugh, I hate that you put your cock where it doesn't belong and/or your lips where none should go, but that's okay - you're just a genetic freak. But if you actually chose to do all that, I'd be justified in stripping you of your rights." How is this progress?
I couldn't agree more. In my case...I've stopped asking if I was 'born this way'. Looking back at my past, I'd say I probably was. I was that weird little second grader telling other kids that saying 'that's so gay' wasn't all right. But that could have just been because I was raised by parents who told me it wasn't all right. Maybe I was born to love women, or maybe it was because so many of my friends were raped. My gender i.d.? Maybe it was inborn. Maybe it was five years of hormone therapy. Or maybe it was because I saw David Bowie and started wondering why the english language didn't have a word to describe someone who wasn't a boy or a girl, and realized that was why I'd never been come up for a word to describe me
But it doesn't matter. In the end, I'm a boi who loves a girl. And that's all that matters. Not how I got here, but that I am here, and I deserve the rights every other American has.
*sigh* Sorry if this made little sense...I never make sense in these rants.