(no subject)

All is well.

Mom ordered Breaking Dawn!!! EEEE! I'm sure it won't be here by Friday, but still!

Watched the last episode on disc 2 of The L Word. Shane's boat party. Now, the following is not from me. It is from the thirteen year old boy in my body-

Oh my God! Nekkid girls! Boobies!

*clears throat* A little more respectful, but related. Since I downloaded this today...

I kissed a girl
Her lips were sweet
She was just like kissin' me
Kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad I kissed a girl

Everybody knows I'm her man

Lord, it's so freaking hot. I wish I could take my shirt off. Which reminds me...last night when I was taking a bath....we have a mirror behind our tub, big mirror. I usually do my best to avoid it, for obvious reasons. But last night, after I got done...I stepped out of the tub, and just stood in front of it for awhile. It's just the fact that I recognize that what I'm planning to do is a big thing, and not just monetarily. And even though it'll be awhile, I just need to be sure. So I looked. And looked.

And, damn, I'm sure.

Then came the morning he woke up alone...

Someone who'd been AWOL on the forums just showed up again...and it brought something to mind. Lots of peole in my life dissappear for various reasons...so why am I so mad at her? I'm not mad at the others who vanish, even I maybe get a one liner from them every year. I still love them.

So I've decided. No more anger. It's destructive. So, I'm not angry. Dissapointed, yes. But everyone has reasons. Life eats you. So...I'm going to make some changes. Will I reach out? No. But I'll be there if she does. I'm just going to...fix what I fucked up. Because I did. I had no reason to cut her out. She didn't actively do it to me, I shouldn't have.