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Apr. 15th, 2005 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeokay, I just looked it over and decided it's as finished as it's ever going to be, so the next chapter of An Awfully Big Adventure
“Mand?”
“Nggh…” Mandy turned her head, groaning at the sharp pain.
“What happened?”
“You fainted.”
“Mmm” she pushed herself up on her hands, looking at James then at the little girl and it quickly came flooding back. She hesitantly put her hand out, cupping the child’s face.
“Do you know who I am?” she whispered, frightened of what the answer would be either way.
Brianna nodded.
“’Course, you’re my Mummy.”
Mandy bit her lips, feeling the tears stream down her face.
“Angel…”
“…Why didn’t Daddy want me?”
Both James and Mandy were taken aback by this question. Mandy stroked her daughter’s hair tenderly.
“What do you mean?”
“Before I came here…I heard you fighting…Daddy didn’t want me, I didn’t know why. Did I do something?”
“Oh no sweetheart, God no…” Mandy closed her eyes as she thought of that horrible night. The screaming match that must have lasted half an hour. No. She was the only one screaming….
“You’re not going to take this baby from me!”
“Mand, you know why we have to-“
“No I don’t! We didn’t have to two months ago, why now? Huh Bri?”
“I don't want to, Mand. If I had I would have done it awhile ago. Jerry says-”
“Screw fuccking Jerry! You're not married to him!”
“Please Mand, don’t make this harder than it is…”
“No…no Brian please no…” she was sobbing now, shrieking as he grabbed her wrists and pinned her down to the bed. She shook her head, jerking in his grasp.
“No, I’ll find a way to hide it, I’ll go away, please Bri please…” sobbing hysterically now as he tore her underwear away and shoved the hanger between her legs. She let out a loud mournful howl as he pressed it in harder and the blood streamed down her thigh…
“Why didn’t Daddy want me?”
Mandy closed her eyes, holding her daughter close.
“Daddy was very confused when you came along darling. A lot of people were telling him what he needed to do to be the person he wanted, so he did what they said.”
“They told him to get rid of me?”
Mandy nodded tearfully.
“Yes luv. But you have to know he loved you. He named you, you know. His little Brianna, he never forgot about you” it was true, wasn’t it? He’d cried when, a few months before Christina was born, Mandy went through a list of name and stumbled upon Brianna.
James stood up, swallowing as he looked at the reunion. Had he done the right thing, or was he just rubbing salt in almost healed wounds?
Mandy kissed her daughter’s forehead, standing up.
“Go back to what you were dong angel, I have to go check on your brother and sisters.”
“Are you staying?”
“I can’t promise anything sweetheart.”
Brianna sighed, standing up and running back into the woods.
“Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“That you couldn’t promise…”
Mandy turned away from the small fire to face James.
“Because I can’t. James…this place…it’s not…”
“Not real?” he muttered.
“No, luv I know it’s real but…how much older is she going to get, really?”
“Ten, twelve maybe.”
“The twins age. What happens after that, after I know she’s older and she stays like that? What happens to the kids if I stay? What happens to me?”
“Please Mand, please just take this for what it is. Don’t look beyond. Just think of the here and now.”
“James…”
James motioned to the sleeping children, then kissed her softly.
“Please Mandy.”
The tears filled her eyes again and she sighed, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him, letting him press her onto the floor, giggling softly as the twinkling powder hit her flesh and they rose off the ground slightly.
“Mand?”
“Nggh…” Mandy turned her head, groaning at the sharp pain.
“What happened?”
“You fainted.”
“Mmm” she pushed herself up on her hands, looking at James then at the little girl and it quickly came flooding back. She hesitantly put her hand out, cupping the child’s face.
“Do you know who I am?” she whispered, frightened of what the answer would be either way.
Brianna nodded.
“’Course, you’re my Mummy.”
Mandy bit her lips, feeling the tears stream down her face.
“Angel…”
“…Why didn’t Daddy want me?”
Both James and Mandy were taken aback by this question. Mandy stroked her daughter’s hair tenderly.
“What do you mean?”
“Before I came here…I heard you fighting…Daddy didn’t want me, I didn’t know why. Did I do something?”
“Oh no sweetheart, God no…” Mandy closed her eyes as she thought of that horrible night. The screaming match that must have lasted half an hour. No. She was the only one screaming….
“You’re not going to take this baby from me!”
“Mand, you know why we have to-“
“No I don’t! We didn’t have to two months ago, why now? Huh Bri?”
“I don't want to, Mand. If I had I would have done it awhile ago. Jerry says-”
“Screw fuccking Jerry! You're not married to him!”
“Please Mand, don’t make this harder than it is…”
“No…no Brian please no…” she was sobbing now, shrieking as he grabbed her wrists and pinned her down to the bed. She shook her head, jerking in his grasp.
“No, I’ll find a way to hide it, I’ll go away, please Bri please…” sobbing hysterically now as he tore her underwear away and shoved the hanger between her legs. She let out a loud mournful howl as he pressed it in harder and the blood streamed down her thigh…
“Why didn’t Daddy want me?”
Mandy closed her eyes, holding her daughter close.
“Daddy was very confused when you came along darling. A lot of people were telling him what he needed to do to be the person he wanted, so he did what they said.”
“They told him to get rid of me?”
Mandy nodded tearfully.
“Yes luv. But you have to know he loved you. He named you, you know. His little Brianna, he never forgot about you” it was true, wasn’t it? He’d cried when, a few months before Christina was born, Mandy went through a list of name and stumbled upon Brianna.
James stood up, swallowing as he looked at the reunion. Had he done the right thing, or was he just rubbing salt in almost healed wounds?
Mandy kissed her daughter’s forehead, standing up.
“Go back to what you were dong angel, I have to go check on your brother and sisters.”
“Are you staying?”
“I can’t promise anything sweetheart.”
Brianna sighed, standing up and running back into the woods.
“Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“That you couldn’t promise…”
Mandy turned away from the small fire to face James.
“Because I can’t. James…this place…it’s not…”
“Not real?” he muttered.
“No, luv I know it’s real but…how much older is she going to get, really?”
“Ten, twelve maybe.”
“The twins age. What happens after that, after I know she’s older and she stays like that? What happens to the kids if I stay? What happens to me?”
“Please Mand, please just take this for what it is. Don’t look beyond. Just think of the here and now.”
“James…”
James motioned to the sleeping children, then kissed her softly.
“Please Mandy.”
The tears filled her eyes again and she sighed, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him, letting him press her onto the floor, giggling softly as the twinkling powder hit her flesh and they rose off the ground slightly.
