Apr. 9th, 2010

axeslade: (elevensties)
Thing I feel I must write, after reading another person's blather about how somewhere they had never been before feels like home because of how much various media exposure they'd had to etc.

Even though I have spent three weeks there (and am going to be spending 3-5 more in the 1/2 year or so) with the person I love more than anything else in the whole world, New York does not feel like home.

I spent three days in San Diego. And it felt like coming home the second I got out into the city.

I don't talk about this often, but I have nursed a dream of living in California from the time I was a wee thing. Part of this was because my father lived there (and in Las Vegas), and talks about it often. I hear both the good and the bad, and that place always just seemed magical. Throw in all the media represenation of San Francisco as a safe(r) space for queer folk, and well.

And that magic, it carried over when I was there. Being in a city where gay and BDSM pride flags are flown proudly from storefronts; my soul felt so at home, which I think is a big part of why I totally melted down after we got back.

So, the short of this is, as much as I lovelovelove Girl and know that NY gives her the same feeling and she doesn't want to live in CA and that I love her enough to give that dream up...I'm having to do a lot of mental adjustments about the whole thing.


OT: I am heavily considering making this my default icon.

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axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

January 2011

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