Touching souls
Jan. 23rd, 2006 07:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeNext part of Forgotten Memories, yay!
Chapter 3
“Mmm…god that feels wonderful.”
“You should let me do it more often.”
“If I had the time darling.”
“You work yourself too hard. Your back’s more knotted than a rope.”
“I’m working for us.”
“For me, you mean.”
“Huh?”
“You work yourself too hard trying to take care of me.”
“Well I wanna keep you around for years to come.”
“We both know that’s not happening, sweetie. Even if you become a red carpet regular, it’s not going to change the fact that there isn’t a cure and the meds only help for so long.”
“Jer…”
“Shh, don’t cry. It makes your eyes all red and blotchy. Just enjoy the here and now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Amanda stared out at the sunrise, nursing a cup of coffee as she let her thoughts bounce around in her brain. Last night’s dream had been so different from the others. There wasn’t even a hint of tenderness. That man…this ‘Jeremy’…he had been rubbing her neck and back, treating her so tenderly, telling her to take it easy. He actually wanted her with him more than he wanted money, even if that money went towards keeping him alive.
Amanda pulled the soft blanket closer to her body, sighing. That was one place where dream boy earned more points that Marcus. Despite all his wonderful attributes, Marcus wasn’t the best at being the gentle, considerate lover. He was the passionate wild lover. He threw her down on the bed and wrestled with her. While she enjoyed that enough, Amanda couldn’t remember a time when he had just laid down and rubbed her sore muscles, or told her she worked too hard. In fact, he almost encouraged her to work herself to the bone.
She shook her head then, standing up to put her mug in the dishwasher. Marcus loved her. He wanted to marry her, wasn’t that enough? This dream lover, she obviously wasn’t engaged to him. Despite years of being together there wasn’t a ring to symbolize their love. So despite his tenderness, he hadn’t loved her enough.
Hadn’t. What was she saying? She was acting like she had actually had an affair with this guy instead of acknowledging the truth, that he was just a figment of her imagination. She was imagining a man who had all the things Marcus didn’t. But no one was perfect, so Marcus would have to do for now. Satisfied that she’d set her fantasy aside, Amanda went to her room to change for that interview.
~~~~~~
“Mmm…Mand, don’t you have a show tonight?”
“Correction, I had a show. I canceled.”
“Canceled? Why?”
“Because you’re sick and need a nurse.”
“Honey…”
“Shh, don’t talk. Eat your soup.”
“Yes ma’am. You know, if you’re going to be a nurse, you could at least put on the uniform.”
“You’re terrible!”
“And you’re beautiful.”
“Mmm…I don’t want to wear you out.”
“You won’t.”
“You should get some sleep.”
“Don’t leave.”
“Jer-“
“Lay next to me. Please?”
“Okay, but just until you fall asleep. Then I’ve got to…”
Jeremy sighed, tossing the sheets into the washing machine. It was odd how she would spring into his memory sometimes. Looking at the faded flower print on the bedspread had reminded him of the dozens of times she had canceled outings with friends or shows at dingy little clubs to stay home when he was sick. Even though he always told her to go ahead with her plans, she insisted on staying with him.
He laughed a little when he thought of one of the last times. She had lain beside him ‘just for a moment’, and had ended up falling asleep herself before finishing her sentence. It had been so nice, so peaceful to just hold her. To listen to her heartbeat, feel her breathing under his palms. He had been tired as hell, but he’d stayed up until she woke up and shrieked at him, playfully slapping him and telling him how bad he was. He just laughed and kissed her, falling asleep directly afterwards.
Jeremy sighed and shook his head. He had to stop thinking about her. She was never going to come back, he knew that. He’d seen her on TV, seen her hanging on the arm of some other man. Seen the shining diamond on her finger, like the one he had always promised her he’d buy the instant they had a cure.
Tears filled his eyes again and he slammed the washing machine shut, storming out of the laundry room to the front door. He needed a drink.
“Mmm…god that feels wonderful.”
“You should let me do it more often.”
“If I had the time darling.”
“You work yourself too hard. Your back’s more knotted than a rope.”
“I’m working for us.”
“For me, you mean.”
“Huh?”
“You work yourself too hard trying to take care of me.”
“Well I wanna keep you around for years to come.”
“We both know that’s not happening, sweetie. Even if you become a red carpet regular, it’s not going to change the fact that there isn’t a cure and the meds only help for so long.”
“Jer…”
“Shh, don’t cry. It makes your eyes all red and blotchy. Just enjoy the here and now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Amanda stared out at the sunrise, nursing a cup of coffee as she let her thoughts bounce around in her brain. Last night’s dream had been so different from the others. There wasn’t even a hint of tenderness. That man…this ‘Jeremy’…he had been rubbing her neck and back, treating her so tenderly, telling her to take it easy. He actually wanted her with him more than he wanted money, even if that money went towards keeping him alive.
Amanda pulled the soft blanket closer to her body, sighing. That was one place where dream boy earned more points that Marcus. Despite all his wonderful attributes, Marcus wasn’t the best at being the gentle, considerate lover. He was the passionate wild lover. He threw her down on the bed and wrestled with her. While she enjoyed that enough, Amanda couldn’t remember a time when he had just laid down and rubbed her sore muscles, or told her she worked too hard. In fact, he almost encouraged her to work herself to the bone.
She shook her head then, standing up to put her mug in the dishwasher. Marcus loved her. He wanted to marry her, wasn’t that enough? This dream lover, she obviously wasn’t engaged to him. Despite years of being together there wasn’t a ring to symbolize their love. So despite his tenderness, he hadn’t loved her enough.
Hadn’t. What was she saying? She was acting like she had actually had an affair with this guy instead of acknowledging the truth, that he was just a figment of her imagination. She was imagining a man who had all the things Marcus didn’t. But no one was perfect, so Marcus would have to do for now. Satisfied that she’d set her fantasy aside, Amanda went to her room to change for that interview.
“Mmm…Mand, don’t you have a show tonight?”
“Correction, I had a show. I canceled.”
“Canceled? Why?”
“Because you’re sick and need a nurse.”
“Honey…”
“Shh, don’t talk. Eat your soup.”
“Yes ma’am. You know, if you’re going to be a nurse, you could at least put on the uniform.”
“You’re terrible!”
“And you’re beautiful.”
“Mmm…I don’t want to wear you out.”
“You won’t.”
“You should get some sleep.”
“Don’t leave.”
“Jer-“
“Lay next to me. Please?”
“Okay, but just until you fall asleep. Then I’ve got to…”
Jeremy sighed, tossing the sheets into the washing machine. It was odd how she would spring into his memory sometimes. Looking at the faded flower print on the bedspread had reminded him of the dozens of times she had canceled outings with friends or shows at dingy little clubs to stay home when he was sick. Even though he always told her to go ahead with her plans, she insisted on staying with him.
He laughed a little when he thought of one of the last times. She had lain beside him ‘just for a moment’, and had ended up falling asleep herself before finishing her sentence. It had been so nice, so peaceful to just hold her. To listen to her heartbeat, feel her breathing under his palms. He had been tired as hell, but he’d stayed up until she woke up and shrieked at him, playfully slapping him and telling him how bad he was. He just laughed and kissed her, falling asleep directly afterwards.
Jeremy sighed and shook his head. He had to stop thinking about her. She was never going to come back, he knew that. He’d seen her on TV, seen her hanging on the arm of some other man. Seen the shining diamond on her finger, like the one he had always promised her he’d buy the instant they had a cure.
Tears filled his eyes again and he slammed the washing machine shut, storming out of the laundry room to the front door. He needed a drink.
