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Suffer in Silence: Surviving Abuse as a Trans Male
[this space reserved for ramblings of a personal nature after I have time to process]
[to remind me of things that need touched on, quotage]
Then there's the destructive myth that trans men "choose" their maleness. Being lectured by your rape crisis counselor that your "choice" of gender amounts to betrayal is quite a special experience. The idea that trans men "go over to the dark side"—the side of rapists, abusers, and male chauvinists—is silly at best, harmful at worst, denying as it does that men can be anything but perpetrators, and least of all victims.
....
The real kicker for me is people who assume that being raped somehow "made" me trans. Any time I disclose either my history of abuse or my gender status I open myself up to ugly attacks. When I disclose both at once, my chances of being ridiculed and misunderstood are squared. Two close male family members have confronted me to ask whether my "gender trouble" was caused by the assault. So did a certain well-known sex educator who frankly should have known better.
I'm not sure how this psycho-sexual theory of transsexualism even makes sense. I would love to hear the logic behind it. Do these people believe that I "chose to become a man" because I "hate men?" Or that I wanted to be more like my perpetrator and less like a victim? Do they think I am trying to avoid male aggression? If the last, I would love for them to explain to me how being a twinkish gay bottom places me drastically higher on the sexual food chain. (It doesn't.)
The best explanation I ever got from these sorts of people was that they thought I was distraught and not capable of making sound decisions.
[this space reserved for ramblings of a personal nature after I have time to process]
[to remind me of things that need touched on, quotage]
Then there's the destructive myth that trans men "choose" their maleness. Being lectured by your rape crisis counselor that your "choice" of gender amounts to betrayal is quite a special experience. The idea that trans men "go over to the dark side"—the side of rapists, abusers, and male chauvinists—is silly at best, harmful at worst, denying as it does that men can be anything but perpetrators, and least of all victims.
....
The real kicker for me is people who assume that being raped somehow "made" me trans. Any time I disclose either my history of abuse or my gender status I open myself up to ugly attacks. When I disclose both at once, my chances of being ridiculed and misunderstood are squared. Two close male family members have confronted me to ask whether my "gender trouble" was caused by the assault. So did a certain well-known sex educator who frankly should have known better.
I'm not sure how this psycho-sexual theory of transsexualism even makes sense. I would love to hear the logic behind it. Do these people believe that I "chose to become a man" because I "hate men?" Or that I wanted to be more like my perpetrator and less like a victim? Do they think I am trying to avoid male aggression? If the last, I would love for them to explain to me how being a twinkish gay bottom places me drastically higher on the sexual food chain. (It doesn't.)
The best explanation I ever got from these sorts of people was that they thought I was distraught and not capable of making sound decisions.
