Dec. 28th, 2009

axeslade: (tosh bs)
Dear BH,
Thanks for kicking me back into the depression-hole just as I thought I might be clawing my way out.
Fuck you with a pineapple sideways,
axeslade: (queen of wands future will eat me)
Most of you know I adore my father. He got me into a lot of the media I'm into. He's generally cool about gender and sexuality stuff, with a few exceptions that are mainly a lack of education. We're a lot a like in many ways.

This can also be a bad thing. Like when I see him in his moods (he's in one right now, which is fab when I am and so is my mother, all for different and justifable reasons). His moods are...well, he's been diagnosed with manic depression, that should tell you.

Most of you know I haven't been diagnosed with shit (there's a lot of reasons for that, partially 'screw the man', partially past issues with behavior altering drugs, etc). But odds are? Yeah, I've got some mood disorder (they run on both sides of the family, etc, etc).

Now where's this going? Seeing him in his mood toinght, and how he treats my mother when he's in them.

My dad worships the ground my mother walks on. He'd be dead without her. But when he's like this? Goddamn I want to slap him.

And I know I'm just as sweet and angelic as him when I'm in these moods. And the idea that, even unconciously, I could act like that to Bri? Goddamn, that depresses the hell out of me.

But everything's depressing the heck out of me, so, meh.

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axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

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