Someone help me find the pause button

*sigh*I'm glad this week isn't a full one. Only two days of classes. Five would kill me right now.

So, woke up at god-awful, after getting very little sleep. Got to the school, internet and I fought for the better part of two hours, took a nap, woke up and internet was working. Yay! Had a whole bunch of e-mails that I still lack the energy to really answer. Boo. Have to see Grandma sometime today. More Boo. Andrew Vachss chat tonight, yay! Youtube won't let me upload my goddamn video, boo.

So...yeah. E-mails will be answered when I am feeling slightly more human...at least physically. I'm not sure when I'll get there emotionally. I know a great deal of why I'm where I am right now is something I don't want to talk about to anyone just yet. I will say that it is a dysphoria thing, but that's all. Yeah, fuck you dysphoria. I stayed up late thinking about this thing last night and I did my normal internal freak out. Tried to make myself cry to get it out, but I couldn't. I only cry when I'm angry now, and this wasn't anger, it was deep-sad. So...yeah. Just recovering from that, might take awhile.

Yeah. Back to fighting with youtube and finding clothes.

Oh, before I forget, because I do need to say something until I answer individual e-mails...

*nuzzles Bri* I'll give you something better when I can actually respond to things, but I love you and I really think that says it all, for now anyway.

Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty!

I seriously need to buy John Barrowman's latest album, just to have his version of this on my computer. God, not even all the way through it and I feel better. (I will note I haven't seen La Cage Aux Folles or the movie...just heard this and it makes me happy ^_^)

I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.

Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."
I am what I am,
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum,
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.

And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,
Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud
I am what I am!

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.

There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit;
One life, so it's time to open up your closet.
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,
"Hey world, I am what I am!"

It probably says something that I relate so much to something that originally (I believe) is sung by a drag queen.....^_^

Um, yeah. So...

I are on Youtube now

Bri's probably the only one who cares, but...yeah. Um. *awkwardly leaves*

I have

My books (minus one)

A package full of music which I will go get as soon as an RA is on duty.

Tea.

John Barrwoman music.

An awesome girlfriend.

Dysphoria can go bug someone else for awhile. I'm happy.

(no subject)

Missed the first ten minutes of the Vachss chat as his website LIED, but oh well, from what I can gather I missed the intro garbage. *does happy dance*

ETA: AOL, you have sealed your death wish by cutting off the video for more than ten minutes. Sorry AOL, apparently not your fault this time, as a mass e-mail was sent out by the site's owners a minute ago saying there have been a lot of problems.