
Reading the very first post at 'Bi-Furious' (if a blog could be a person, I'd marry it)...Sarah and Aviva's commentary on the film
Another study, however, was presented by the parade of talking heads and went very much unquestioned, perhaps because it came to conclusions Blockman and Decker had already drawn. This study showed that women, no matter their self-reported sexual orientation, were aroused by images of women as well as, and often more than, images of men. There was no interrogation of the possible reasons for this, though one possible explanation that seems pretty obvious to us is that we are all socialized to view women’s bodies as symbols of sexual desire in general. But no, this study was immediately spun as proof that ALL women are bisexual, because of our “fluid female sexuality,” which is a meme we really, really hate. First of all, it is suspiciously similar to images of femininity that have been around for a very long time, and we’re kind of amazed when nobody notices or questions this coincidence (female sexuality is there for everyone to exploit, anyone?). But more importantly, we think this image of female sexuality as mutable and fluid paradoxically renders female sexuality invisible. Women are sent a lot of conflicted messages regarding sexuality in this culture, and many of them center around the pressure to render ourselves sexual objects of desire but not to admit to having any sexual desire ourselves. Our bodies are seen as the symbols of sexual desire in general, and this is what “fluid female sexuality” says to us: women are supposed to radiate sexuality, symbolize desire, and be seen as interested in the trappings of sexuality, but we are not taught to ever explicitly want sex. And this “fluid female sexuality” idea really undermines our ability to articulate our desires, or our sexual likes or dislikes, since a bunch of experts who have never met us are supposed to know more about our desires than we do. If we are supposed to vaguely want everything, then we can’t ever want anything particular at all.
And sadly, this assumption seemed to underlie the conclusion of the directors: they grudgingly admit that some men are bisexual, but proclaim that ALL women are (they even explicitly said this during the Q&A after the screening!) Sorry, no. Not all women are “really” bisexual. If you claim we are all bisexual, then that renders women who actually claim and live that as an identity completely invisible. It’s quite patronizing - when a woman tells you she’s bisexual, this is like patting her on the head and saying, “Sure, honey, of course you are! We all are!” It negates the fact that bisexuals have a different experience of life than the straight- and lesbian-identified women who, according to this idea, are “really” just like us at heart, but aren’t enlightened or flexible enough to act on their “true” orientation. So not only does this claim render bisexual women invisible, it also insults women who don’t identify as bisexual by implying they’re too deluded or repressed or unenlightened to even know their own sexual desires. How fucked-up and antifeminist is that?
I have many female friends who are so straight it's not even funny. The idea of being with a woman disgusts them. And I know many who are only attaracted to women. So, no, we're not all bisexual. Sorry to ruin your wet dreams.
The idea that bisexuality is a suddenly-widespread trend, and probably a phase these kids are going through before they find themselves and settle down to their adult, most likely monosexual lives, is also troublesome. That angle suggests that young people are so clueless and impressionable that they don’t have their own orientations and deeply held beliefs about themselves. Being young doesn’t make you a sheep who will do whatever the dominant culture tells you people like you should be doing, and seeing girls kissing each other on television is not going to turn a generation bi. That assumption is awfully insulting; it assumes people under a certain age have no will or convictions of their own, no inherent sense of self.
Boy, did I hear that a lot. That it was just a phase, that eventually I'd become a lesbian or het. The way I would answer it was 'well yeah, I could always end up spending my life with a man or a woman'-not 'I'll become gay/straight'. Just because I'm with a woman doesn't make me a lesbian, just because Angie Bowie is with a man doesn't make her straight. Men still enthrall me, Angie still worships women. We've just found the people we're meant to be with, and we really don't care that much about what falls between their legs.
Although, admittidly, I'm not a big fan of the dick. ^_^