There's nothing that can't be turned around...

Oh last night was fun. I was tired, but I couldn't sleep.

Why? Well, among the million other itsy-bitsy things running through my head...

Getting such a vivid, detailed flash in the mind of my real self. The self I'll never look like, outside, until I have surgery that I won't be able to afford for a long time.

That hurt. So bad. A (as Erin Lindsey of VE put it) birth defect shouldn't make a person ache so much.

But it did. Because I know even if I lose weight, I won't look like that. It'll take thousands of dollars for that to happen.

I find it kind of sad-funny I'm listening to Garbage, seing as Shirley Manson is/was body dysphoric (or however you spell it)

Okay, done whining now. I swear.

I'm the new Berlin Wall baby!

I keep forgetting what I a gift being bigendered (genderqueer, two spirited, whatever) is.

I can't put it into words, really, but John Cameron Mitchell already did a fine job,

Yitzhak
On August 13th, 1961,
a wall was erected
down the middle of the city of Berlin.
The world was divided by a cold war
and the Berlin Wall
was the most hated symbol of that divide
Reviled. Graffitied. Spit upon.
We thought the wall would stand forever,
and now that it's gone,
we don't know who we are anymore.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Hedwig is like that wall,
standing before you in the divide
between East and West,
Slavery and Freedom,
Man and Woman,
Top and Bottom.
And you can try to tear her down,
but before you do,
you must remember one thing.

Hedwig
Hey.
There ain't much of a difference
between a bridge and a wall
Without me right in the middle, babe
you would be nothing at all.

That, along with...something I shall not say here, quie yet...the happy, it is returning.

^_^

I hope the person who sent me this won't mind me reposting it.

i just read some of your recent entries and liked them a lot. journals like yours really help me understand how others think and feel and i think that's important.

Just gave me a little thrill. Official pushed today from 51%/crap/49% good to 42% crap/58% good.

(no subject)

Okay. I'm going to let mom try to repack things a bit better, but at the moment everything's packed. Important stuff (gifts, my dressy clothes, some normal clothes) in my carry on, my pajamas and other clothes in my other bag. Now, I just need a baggie for my Excedrin and I'm set. Thank fucking GOD.