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Aug. 10th, 2010 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
axesladeSo. Continuing on with my body issues today.
I've been thinking--a big part of my issues with my body shape isn't society (though that plays a part, of course) or peers (hell, Girl likes this body).
What it is really is this: I learned a lot of my gender presentation from David Bowie and Rocky Horror.
...yeah, those bodies aren't mine. Nor should they be. I recognise on a logical level, that unless I take T and grow almost a foot, those bodies will not be mine. But on a purely emotional level...I learned both feminity and masculinity from men like this. RHPS and Bowie's music were some of the few things that helped me survive middle school because they made me feel less alone. In a sense, these men are who I want to be (um, without the killing and removing of brains and cocaine use). So when the hormones start flooding, I find myself holding up their image next to my own and just pouting a bit.
Sigh. Yeah, cry moar emo-boi.
I've been thinking--a big part of my issues with my body shape isn't society (though that plays a part, of course) or peers (hell, Girl likes this body).
What it is really is this: I learned a lot of my gender presentation from David Bowie and Rocky Horror.
...yeah, those bodies aren't mine. Nor should they be. I recognise on a logical level, that unless I take T and grow almost a foot, those bodies will not be mine. But on a purely emotional level...I learned both feminity and masculinity from men like this. RHPS and Bowie's music were some of the few things that helped me survive middle school because they made me feel less alone. In a sense, these men are who I want to be (um, without the killing and removing of brains and cocaine use). So when the hormones start flooding, I find myself holding up their image next to my own and just pouting a bit.
Sigh. Yeah, cry moar emo-boi.
