axeslade | (no subject)

So, I just did a practice watercolour. About ten minutes, quick little landscape (which is the one thing I really remember doing in art class). The sky is crap because I totally forgot how to do it proper until after it was done, and for the life of me I cannot remember how to do grass. But you know what? I didn't get so frustrated I had to stop, unlike with my writing. I think it's because painting isn't what I want to do with my life, so I'm able to have fun with it even when it's crap. Writing...even when it's good anymore, it's not fun, and goddamn I want it to be fun again. I don't know how to stop caring about the quality, tho. NaNo didn't do it. The last time I didn't care, when I managed to churn out a 400 page novel in three months, was when I was nearly-suicidal-depressed. So, you know, probably not the road to go down. But...I don't know any other way to stop stressing myself out of action about something I love. And that's probably really fucked up.

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If you can find out the secret of making writing fun again, please let me in on it, as well. It's been so long since I wrote something that wasn't an essay or a news article, I don't know if I still remember how. I miss it. I miss it a lot.

I'm glad it's not just me who had the love sucked out by school and such. Sigh. I have so many awesome ideas (mainly epic fanfic, but some original stuff too), and I can't enjoy them, even though I think they're wonderful. Bah.