Hard and restrained and totally cool

[axeslade]

I posted this as a comment in someone's journal, and I'm going to put it here to remind myself and let you guys remind me in case I actually think about wimping out...

Paula's just 'concerned' because I'm 'delicate' and 'innocent' and she doesn't want me to get 'hurt'. My mum doesn't care, and that's all that matters. I have been so tempted to tell Paula to fuck off in group, because occasionally the other girls have done the same, and Paula never thinks bad of them, but...you know, it's just not me to do that to people. If she hints that my gender problems are just me trying to find myself again, though, I will do it and storm out of group. I'm that sick of it.


This makes a little more sense in context, but it's the last sentence or two that is really important. I don't think I'll actually tell her to fuck off, I can't do that to an adult it doesn't feel right, but I'll definitely leave group at least for that day. I can't stand her telling me this is a damn phase anymore, I just can't.

Comments

[spacequeen.livejournal.com]

It truly sounds like she means well, but sometimes you just have to accept that you will never reach some people. I agree with your wise choice not to tell her to 'fuck off'. That will only engender animosity, but at the same time, if the counseling thing is not working for you, maybe you should quit, if you are able.

[axeslade.livejournal.com]

if the counseling thing is not working for you, maybe you should quit, if you are able. it's helped me through a lot, really. All the other girls, though, have also had times where they just want to scream at Paula. Last year, poor A. Paula kept asking her what this stuff in her sand tray meant, and sometimes stuff is just stuff and A. ran out crying and didn't come back for weeks, but now she's back and very happy. If she gets on me like that again, I'll just need to take a break until I need the group again to keep from going homicidal ~_^