*sigh*So, I've spent a good chunk of the day looking for publishers to send queries to just so, if the (very likely) case of Kunati rejecting me comes true, I can send out more queries right away.  But...Goddesssssss....
It hurts.  I wrote a romance.  But all the romance publishers, or publishers that take romances as one of many of their sub genres, all require stereotypically happy endings.  Which mine isn't.  At risk of giving it away, someone dies.  But it's still a happy ending in it's way.  Think...for lack of a better comparitive, for those who have seen it...it's like when Angel died in Rent.  It's a necessary death.  But the romance publishers don't want that.  So.  What do I do? I label it differently, which is hard to do as it is a romance or general, and general...maybe it's a drama, but it's romance/drama and...ugh.  Or, I change the end.  Which...I can't.  I just fucking can't.  Or I rewrite it as a screenplay, which I suck at.  Sigh.  I....I want to scream I QUIT! to the girls, tell them to abandon me since I'm hopeless, but then I think of being withou this...this curse, this gift....and I want to die, because without it I'm hollow.  So...for lack of something better to end this post, I quote Rent again.
From  What You Own
MARK 
Don't Breathe Too Deep 
Don't Think All Day 
Dive Into Work 
Drive The Other Way 
That Drip Of Hurt 
That Pint Of Shame 
Goes Away 
Just Play The Game
You're Living In America 
At The End Of The Millennium 
You're Living In America 
Leave Your Conscience At The Tone 
And When You're Livinging In America 
At The End Of The Millennium 
You're What You Own 
ROGER: The Filmmaker Cannot See 
MARK: And The Songwriter Cannot Hear 
ROGER: Yet I See Mimi Everywhere 
MARK: Angel's Voice Is In My Ear 
ROGER: Just Tighten Those Shoulders 
MARK: Just Clench Your Jaw Til You Frown 
ROGER: Just Don't Let Go 
BOTH: Or You May Drown