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ficcy!
A M/S fic I jsut finished.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Slightly AT.
Title: I Should Be Crying
Rating: PG-13
Reasons: Mild language/general subject matter
Genres: Romance/Angst
~I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking: all the things I should have said, but I never said. All the things we should have done, but we never did. All the things I should have given, but I didn't. Oh, darling, make it go, make it go away! Give me these moments back,give them back to me. Give me that little kiss, give me your hand.~-Kate Bush 'This Woman's Work'
Safilix glanced at the clock and clutched at his hair. It had been almost an hour, what the fuck could be taking so long?
His heart spasmed when the sight of how Mandy had looked when she'd slumped to the ground flashed into his mind. Blood on the floor...her face contorted in pain...what if...
He knew these thoughts wouldn't do him any good, that he should be thinking of the best case scenario. That both she and the baby would be okay, that the wounds had all been superficial. But the way she'd been crying, arms around her waist, made him think otherwise.
Saiflix swallowed back the tears. Why was he crying? The baby had-wasn't his. It was the last thing she had tying her to Brian, her only memento of her 'marriage of convience'. Her thoughts hadn't been on him those nights when he'd found her asleep, hand laying on her stomach and a smile on her lips. They had been on Brian, his body, his...
He shook his head. No. It wasn't right to think those things. It'd didn't matter who the baby's father was. Brian wasn't cut out to be a father. Mandy had said that once, 'just because a man fucks a girl doesn't make him a father'. Safilix knew that prick wouldn't be shaking right now like he was, he'd probably be laughing. He wouldn't be worried about his ex wife or child, he'd be glad to have them off his hands.
Safilix slipped his fingers in his pocket, feeling the black velvet box he'd been going to give Mandy tonight. It was strange. He'd mulled it over for weeks, wondering if it was too soon to ask her to replace Brian like this, but now it seemed far too late.
He stroked the velvet, closing his eyes and tilting his head heavenward.
God, if you're there...let her be all right, let the baby be all right. I promise I won't be jealous of Brian anymore, I won't get angry when she cries over memories of him. I'll try to understand her more just please, please don't take them from me
He started sobbing quietly, but didn't realize it until a cold hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up and saw a young nurse standing there. He sniffed,
"Yes?"
"You're Miss Handel's boyfriend, right?"
"Y-yeah."
"You can go see her now."
Safilix stood up and bolted to Mandy's room. She was laying on her side, her back to him. When the door opened, she looked up slightly,
"James..."
He went to her, heart breaking when she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing,
"James...oh God...God..."
"Is....is...", he tried to ask about the baby, but he saw the look on Mandy's face and got all the answer he needed. He pressed his face into her hair, blinking back tears,
"I'm so sorry Mand...I shouldn't have..."
"No...no please don't blame yourself. You didn't do a thing", she clutched him, sniffling
"I just...I can't feel anything but the empty place inside me where he was..."
"Shh...shh. It'll be all right, Mand. It'll be all right", but as he held her, quieting her tears, the promise not to be jealous of the man who she would cry for in the coming months flew right from his mind.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Slightly AT.
Title: I Should Be Crying
Rating: PG-13
Reasons: Mild language/general subject matter
Genres: Romance/Angst
~I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking: all the things I should have said, but I never said. All the things we should have done, but we never did. All the things I should have given, but I didn't. Oh, darling, make it go, make it go away! Give me these moments back,give them back to me. Give me that little kiss, give me your hand.~-Kate Bush 'This Woman's Work'
Safilix glanced at the clock and clutched at his hair. It had been almost an hour, what the fuck could be taking so long?
His heart spasmed when the sight of how Mandy had looked when she'd slumped to the ground flashed into his mind. Blood on the floor...her face contorted in pain...what if...
He knew these thoughts wouldn't do him any good, that he should be thinking of the best case scenario. That both she and the baby would be okay, that the wounds had all been superficial. But the way she'd been crying, arms around her waist, made him think otherwise.
Saiflix swallowed back the tears. Why was he crying? The baby had-wasn't his. It was the last thing she had tying her to Brian, her only memento of her 'marriage of convience'. Her thoughts hadn't been on him those nights when he'd found her asleep, hand laying on her stomach and a smile on her lips. They had been on Brian, his body, his...
He shook his head. No. It wasn't right to think those things. It'd didn't matter who the baby's father was. Brian wasn't cut out to be a father. Mandy had said that once, 'just because a man fucks a girl doesn't make him a father'. Safilix knew that prick wouldn't be shaking right now like he was, he'd probably be laughing. He wouldn't be worried about his ex wife or child, he'd be glad to have them off his hands.
Safilix slipped his fingers in his pocket, feeling the black velvet box he'd been going to give Mandy tonight. It was strange. He'd mulled it over for weeks, wondering if it was too soon to ask her to replace Brian like this, but now it seemed far too late.
He stroked the velvet, closing his eyes and tilting his head heavenward.
God, if you're there...let her be all right, let the baby be all right. I promise I won't be jealous of Brian anymore, I won't get angry when she cries over memories of him. I'll try to understand her more just please, please don't take them from me
He started sobbing quietly, but didn't realize it until a cold hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up and saw a young nurse standing there. He sniffed,
"Yes?"
"You're Miss Handel's boyfriend, right?"
"Y-yeah."
"You can go see her now."
Safilix stood up and bolted to Mandy's room. She was laying on her side, her back to him. When the door opened, she looked up slightly,
"James..."
He went to her, heart breaking when she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing,
"James...oh God...God..."
"Is....is...", he tried to ask about the baby, but he saw the look on Mandy's face and got all the answer he needed. He pressed his face into her hair, blinking back tears,
"I'm so sorry Mand...I shouldn't have..."
"No...no please don't blame yourself. You didn't do a thing", she clutched him, sniffling
"I just...I can't feel anything but the empty place inside me where he was..."
"Shh...shh. It'll be all right, Mand. It'll be all right", but as he held her, quieting her tears, the promise not to be jealous of the man who she would cry for in the coming months flew right from his mind.