axeslade: (queen of wands future will eat me)
So, last night after the major freak out...

It kind of continued in a smaller way.

I laid down and it was another case of no matter what way I positioned myself, they were there. The best I could get was laying on my stomach...but my arms get very uncomfortable when I do that.

I really need to get on getting this things removed. The bad days are getting worse, even if they aren't getting more frequent (which I think they are, but I'm not sure). A tiny part of me is thinking about asking for donations, but I feel bad about that. I'm also thinking of donating my eggs, even though there are hormones involved in that (FEMALE hormones, UGH!), but I'm not sure if they'd take mine due to all my issues? But I don't think most of those are genetic, most are just shit that happened. Hmmm...

ETA: It appears I'd probably have to be 21 to donate eggs. So there's a wait there. And I don't know how much it pays? But any drop in the bucket would help. I don't know if I'm discussed my ideal timeline here, but here's what would happen in my ideal world (you know, where all people have the same rights and everyone believes in bodily autonomy and pigs fly)

23-Finish college, move to NY, start therapy
24-Get letters, have double mastectomy, get married
27-Start consultations for oophrectomy/tubal litigation/hysterectomy
30-Have some form of sterilization surgery

The only step where the timing *really* matters is the second one. I haven't said this yet (I don't think?) but there's this part of me that *really* doesn't want to get married before I have top surgery. I know it's just a legal ceremony, given that neither of is religious, but...I want my wedding pictures to have a me with the right body, and a binder just won't cut it.
Everything else is just the sprinkles on the icing.

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axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

January 2011

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