Sep. 13th, 2010

axeslade: (Default)
Via Shakesville: My Body Is Mine

I shouldn't have to say it because everyone should know it, but FUCKING THIS.

Let's respect each other's bodily autonomy, okay? Okay.
axeslade: (lily allen)
Kind of tangentally related to that last post: I realised this before I went over to check Shakesville after lunch but...for the first time probably since July, I'm feeling...good.

I had a meltdown on the phone with my mother yesterday. I'd known this meltdown was in the works for awhile, but really just needed someone to trigger it (this is not an insult to my mother--she knows, as I do, that I can really only fall apart around her and occasionally Girl without feeling horrible about it later).

There's a lot of things that built up to form the mass of unhappy in my head. And not all of them are gone (they probably never will be, and I accept that). But enough of it is cleared out that I can function again without feeling like I'm going to break (believe me, you did NOT want to be in my head these last two weeks. Woooh boy).

So tonight, after reading/school work (providing I get done at a reasonable hour), I'm going to start on my auction fic. It might be a few days late, but I'm sure my recipent will understand.

Tomorrow, providing schedules work, K and I will go to the bank to get transfers done.

By Friday, I should be able to purchase tickets for Christmas.

All will be well, this too shall pass, blah blah blah.
axeslade: (utena/anthy)
First: Why do I not have the Jack/Ianto snog icon on this account? BAH.

Second: Pondering auction fic...and realising another thing I have in common with Jack in many ways--wanting to protect the people I love from me, from having to love me and deal with my messed up self. Yeah, I'm not immortal. But it's hard to deny that even before the immortality Jack was pretty fucked up.

But Jack, and myself...well. We want to protect people from ourselves--but that doesn't stop us wanting them. I've read many posts on how Jack's great fault and great salvation is his love. And, yeah, I can totally get that.

I've said many times how I wouldn't care nearly as much if I get gay/trans bashed were I not now with Girl. How, yes, I do try to chase her away sometimes for her own good (and I have to stop doing that. I have to trust that she has informed consent, etc. MAH ISSUES!)

And, well, again...even if she doesn't look as good in a suit (though she looks damn good in red)...Girl really is my Ianto sometimes. From The Sin Eaters

Years of trying and trying and sometimes succeeding....being himself. Being hated, being lonely. No one good enough, not able to mend, not able to stop the pain.
Ianto was holding his hand. He kissed him. "You okay?"
"Yeah. C'mere, you." He gave Ianto a massive hug. He needed him. Sometimes more than he'd like to admit.

We've had our moments like that, and I am so grateful for them.


axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

January 2011

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