Jun. 6th, 2010

axeslade: (sealbomb)
I just realised that now that I have a swim binder, I could take advantage of the school gym's pool.

While I can't swim without waterwings to save my life, when I was a weeeeee thing, I did have physical therapy in a pool and loved it. And it'd probably be really good for my muscles, being low impact exercise and all.

And said swim top would probably also be good for plain working out, since it's so breathable, which would mean being able to utilize the other parts of the gym more comfortably.

So, yeah. Giving that a go in September. *cautiously excited* *also pointedly avoiding negative self-talk, which could have easily been in here*

ALSO: Ten days! Eeeee!
axeslade: (tosh bs)
So. Amazingly, and sadly, my grandmother was not the person I wanted to strangle the most today.

Yes, she nattered on like she did and implied things about my choices. But I dealt, and she left right after sibling got her diploma.

Last person graduates, chaos ensues, sibling vanishes outside without my mother or I noticing. She goes to look for her, I stand in the lobby.

My former guidance counselor (she who I have almost as much of a OMFG I LOVE YOU/OMFG DIE IN A FIRE relationship with as NE) sees me, a few minutes of plesantries.

Of course, given that it's (OMFG, NOT PACKED NOR ANYWHERE CLOSE TO) ten days until I leave, I squee about seeing Girl.

Guidance couselor: Oh! You're still close?

...and I swear, people, I almost cried. And then I almost said something along the lines of 'she's had her hands and her mouth under my pants, yes, we're still fucking close'.

I really, really don't get it. From people who didn't know either of us before it became long distance, okay, I get the surprise that we've been doing this BS for ~three years. But this woman knew me the whole time I was going through the 'Ahhh! My best friend is straight, but I was having kinky-kinky thoughts about her and oh God what the fuck am I going to do about this'. And when it wasn't just raging hormones, when it was 'My God, I've never felt like this for anyone and what the fuck am I going to do when she leaves I don't know if I can handle it'. And when we finally became a couple and I was happier than she'd ever seen me.

And she's surprised we're still 'close'.


I didn't say that, or the filthy thing. I said something along the lines of 'yeah, and oh god I need to see her so bad'. And then she had to leave. And I was so, so glad because I would have cried otherwise and she would have asked me if I was 'really happy' again.

*eyes clock*I need a fucking TARDIS.

**BONUS DIE IN A FIRE** Right when she saw me, she asked if I'd lost weight. I was wearing my binder, so I said that. And she said 'no, elsewhere' (binder straps down stomach, tho not as much as old one)...and then said how I look good. I really don't recall her saying that to me ever before. I could be misremembering, given that when I saw her in high school I was usually depressed out of my mind over NE and other bullshit. But I know that often comments on my looks were things about how I wasn't caring for myself (true, again, fucking depressed).

...yeah, thanks for contributing to my body issues. I needed that.


axeslade: (Default)
A most peculiar mademoiselle

January 2011

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